The Benefits and Challenges of Being a “Third Culture Kid”

The environment a child grows up in becomes their baseline for what’s normal. As you can imagine, children growing up overseas often form a very different concept of “normal” compared to their peers who grow up in their home/passport country.   

As an American who spent much of her life serving in Cameroon, Christy Carmean affirms, “Our kids were neither. They ate, dressed, and thought like Cameroonians, but our house was like a mini-America.” Children who grow up straddling two different cultures like this often feel like they aren’t fully a part of either culture, but rather a “third,” unspecified culture. The experience of growing up as a Third Culture Kid (TCK) comes with its own set of unique benefits and challenges. Being aware of these can help us know how to better interact with them. 

The Challenges of Being a TCK 

• Belonging struggles: Many feel they don’t fully belong anywhere—neither in their passport country nor their host culture. 

• Fishbowl effect: Missionary kids sometimes feel more pressure to perform under constant observation. 

• Cultural gaps: Returning to their passport country, they may not understand the trends, slang, or social norms of their peers. 

• Language barriers: Switching between languages can be exhausting and feel isolating. 

• Loss and transition: Friends move away, family events are missed, and goodbyes become a part of their regular rhythm. 

• Mental health risks: Without support, the stress of constant transition can lead to struggles in adulthood.
  

The Benefits of Being a TCK 

• Multilingual and globally connected: Many TCKs grow up speaking two languages and form international relationships that open new doors of opportunity. 

• Adaptability and flexibility: Constant transitions teach them to adjust quickly to new environments. 

• Broader perspective: Exposure to multiple cultures helps them see the world through diverse lenses. 

• Empathy for the marginalized: Having experienced life as outsiders, TCKs often develop compassion for those on the margins. 

• Counter-cultural faith: Reading Scripture through a multicultural lens can deepen their understanding of God’s global mission. 

• Resilience and open-mindedness: With support, TCKs grow into adults who are resilient, curious, and open to new ideas. 

Research shows that it’s critical for kids to have at least two non-parent adults who care for them and support them. These roles are often filled by grandparents or other relatives that TCKs have limited access to. That’s one reason why Encompass stresses the importance of teams, and it’s why TCKs often consider other trusted adult missionaries to be their “aunts” and “uncles.”  

So what should we do when a missionary family visits our church and we cross paths with a TCK? As our resident TCK expert, Christy says, “Interact directly with the kids when you see them, acknowledge the messiness of transition, and say ‘I’m sorry.’” Just knowing that there are adults who understand them and empathize with them can do wonders!