Eliminating Anger by Tapping into Jesus
October 2024
Adapted from Honor and Anger
Anger is an intense emotion of annoyance and displeasure that leads to hostility and combat. Something happens, you feel displeased, then you react aggressively. Anger is an aggressive reaction to stress—a response to a threat. When something makes us feel vulnerable, weak, or ashamed, we “get angry” to resolve or cover those problems. We may ask nicely once or twice, but when that doesn’t work, we resort to anger to obtain our preferences. Our eyes focus, our hearts pump, our muscles tense, and our faces signal disapproval. We power up for battle, or at least to project force. Most church-going Christians avoid violent expressions of anger. Instead, we develop more sophisticated and socially acceptable forms of anger. These include resentment, bitterness, irritation, and frustration. Don’t be fooled: internal anger is still anger. Even “nice” people deal with anger. Anger is often related to worth. We get angry when we feel that something of value has been violated. Every person has a sense of what and who deserves worth. When that sense of worth is violated, we feel offended and disrespected. Anger is the emotional resource that enables us to protect what needs to be protected. It helps us to repair shame and restore honor. We feel angry when our own sense of worth is disrespected. Consider these basic examples: a driver cuts you off, a child defies you, someone damages your property, or a neighbor gossips about you. The thought rises, “They didn’t treat me as I deserve to be treated!” Human beings have a gut-level demand for honor. We may ask nicely once or twice, but when that doesn’t work, we resort to anger to regain lost honor. A biblical example is King Saul. When the people of Israel sang praise to David, he was displeased and “very angry” (1 Samuel 18:7–9). He felt that, as king, he deserved that honor. In other instances, we feel angry when another person’s worth is violated—especially when the offended person is close to us. We get angry because something we honor has been smeared. For instance, our blood boils when we hear about sexual abuse or racism—especially against the vulnerable. The Gospels record that Jesus got angry when others were not properly recognized, such as when the synagogue leaders were reluctant to help the man with the withered hand (Mark 3:4), the disciples excluded children from Jesus (Mark 10:14–16), and moneychangers hindered worshippers from accessing the temple (Mark 11). In each instance, the cause of Jesus’ anger was people not properly honoring and valuing another person. Should Christians get angry? Is there such a thing as “righteous anger?” People have “good reasons” or perhaps even “biblical reasons” for getting angry. But scripture warns us about anger. James 1:20 says, “The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” And Dallas Willard said there is nothing you can do better with anger than without anger. A better response than anger would be forgiveness. Rather than forcefully claiming honor, forgiveness renounces our claim to honor. Forgiveness is the personal choice to release the offender from their honor debt. They owe you honor (in the form of apology, restitution, punishment, etc.) for violating your worth, but you choose to release them from any repayment. In order for us to release offenders of their honor debt, we need to draw our source of honor from somewhere else. We need to realize the honor that’s available to us through Christ. Ask yourself what circumstances make you angry, and next time you notice anger creeping in, try asking yourself these questions:- What worth is my anger seeking to preserve?
- How can I appropriate Christ’s alternative honor in this moment?
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